There's Always a Way

I'm never going to say that homeschooling is for everyone, or that every family should homeschool. In an ideal world, that would be wonderful.

Realistically, that's just not going to happen. Our world is not ideal; it's imperfect. Down right awful sometimes. Life has a way of happening and intruding on our personal Utopias, and sometimes parents who've been homeschooling find they need to change direction and send the kids to school.

That's the crossroad we found ourselves at this past spring. After dealing with the loss of a pre-born baby one year, a high-risk pregnancy the next, and my husband's cancer diagnosis 3 weeks after our baby's birth, we felt like our lives had been pretty churned up. I'd lost my motivation to teach my kids -- frankly, I'd lost my motivation for almost everything. Our new baby was a joy (still is), but I'd been put through the ringer, and I was tired.

But God has created seasons, hasn't He? Not just in nature, but in our lives, as well. Just as the world we live in is resilient, moving from summer to fall to winter to spring and back again, He's made us the same way. We have our ups and downs, and thankfully, our souls seem to have a natural bouyancy as, in the midst of the worst circumstances, we find ourselves searching for hope and a better way.

My 15 year-old son decided, and might I say, he decided it pretty decidedly, this past spring that he wanted to go to high school. I won't go into all the reasons here, but his desire for change was well-justified. I was humbled, and looked into a few options for the coming school year: an alternative school founded by homeschoolers, another homeschool-oriented alternative school, and a highly-recommended homeschooling co-op. None of them seemed right, and regarding the co-op, the door fairly slammed shut because the classes he needed to be in were full.

One night as I sat reading in bed, I whispered to the Lord in desperation. "What do I do? Show me the way." I believe right then He gave me the answer as the words child-led learning popped into my head.

Wow, I thought. Okay, then, what is he interested in? The first thing that popped into my head was rock music, Christian rock music in particular.

I grabbed my notebook and pen and began writing furiously as my brainstorm roared on. We would have a great year! He wants to either be in a band someday or manage one, so one of the first courses on the list was business math.

Here's my list as I wrote it out, with a few extra notes to explain some things. I'm still working on it, and have quite a few books to order still, but it's shaping up quite nicely:

Joel, 2007-2008 School Year

Language Arts

• Winston Grammar
• Written reports on favorite bands, and how to manage a band (cumulative research paper)
• Writing copy for web page content (see below)
• Spelling Power

Mathematics

• Geometry, perhaps Algebra 1 (he wants a break from Algebra this year)
• Business math overview
• Paper trading (stock market, using the book Rule #1 by Phil Town)

Electives

• Drivers Ed
• Web page design -- build own web page based on rock music (with me as a very strict overseer)

Foreign Language

• Spanish (we'll try this again -- won't be the first time)

Social Studies/History

• What U.S. and world events occurred when certain rock-n-roll bands or cultural/Christian icons were born, at the heights of their careers/ministries, and deaths?
• People to study (from the last 100 years): Billy Graham, Mother Theresa, Elvis, Johnny Cash, etc.
  
  Some of you may reel at this approach to my son's 10th grade school year. I'm excited about it. I still get to teach my son at home, and he's happy about getting to study something he's actually interested in.
  
  I'll let you know how it goes.
  
  All of this is just to say, if you're at the crossroads of do-we-continue-this-or-not, pray about it. Brainstorm about it. Keep an open mind. Where there's a will, there really is a way. Just because one door may close on you doesn't mean there isn't another open door that you're just not seeing.
  
  You can do it! I'm sure going to try.
  
  Sally
  http://www.homeschoolinganyway.com/
  www.homeschoolblogger.com/justgivemestarbucks

How Much Time Online is Too Much?

Here's an extreme story of a couple so obsessed with the internet that they let their toddler and baby starve...almost to death. The online video game-loving couple had food in the house but neglected their kids' needs in order to take part in internet role-playing games. The 11 month-old had to have her head shaved because her hair was matted with cat urine. You can read the article to see what else she and her brother had to suffer with.

The parents are each facing a 12-year maximum sentence. I sincerely hope they get it. Now, I can understand one parent being internet-crazy, but you would think at least one would behave somewhat responsibly for the sake of their children.

How much time online is too much? Some would say too much would be far less than the extremes this couple went to. Do you know anyone who's internet crazy? Is it you?

If you're a home schooler, has the internet interfered with your responsibility to teach your kids?

What's the answer for internet-obsessed parents? Time management? Self management?

I Don't Know as Much as I Thunk I Did

I once heard about a young girl from Asia who said learning English as a second language is like trying to drink the entire ocean.

When it comes to setting up my own website, I feel the same way.

I'll be totally honest: The generic template I chose is, well, not too pretty, and the sad thing is, all the templates to choose from are the same! Like they've been regurgitated from the 80s. Ugh.

Hopefully this week I will have a new, fresh look to my website. That's what websites should be: new and fresh, inspiring, eye-catching, visitor-keeping. I'm working on it, and will let you know when it's done (okay, so it will never be "done" -- that's the fun of it). But I'll let you know when it's a little easier on the eyes.

Really -- I feel like emailing my web-hosting service and asking them, "Do you not want your customers to succeed?? What are you thinking, offering templates like this? C'mon, people!" Clicking through those boring templates reminded me of a few very droll days back in the early 90s when a friend of mine and I were sent to an MS-DOS training class at Boeing. Yes, it was as fun as it sounds. The instructor was a smallish man with thick glasses, a dingy, small office (which turned out to be our classroom), and a sign above his desk that read, "Department of Redundancy Department." Not the best learning environment.

Needless to say, I learned n-o-t-h-i-n-g.

Back to trying to drink the ocean. I've been swimming in HTML, CSS (cascading style sheets), NVu (like FrontPage, but free), and on and on and on. I really didn't think it would be as difficult to learn as it has been. It doesn't help having a toddler and three teens distracting me, but I can't blame it on them. I taught myself some HTML back when I was learning eBay in the late 90s (when you had to "learn" eBay -- selling and buying is much easier on there now). So, of course, I thought, "No sweat! I'll have a new page designed in no time!" Ha. I didn't have all the necessary knowledge that I thought I did, and there's a ton more to learn than I ever dreamed.

I could go the easy route and pay someone to design my page, but I'm determined to do this for free, which, when translated, means all by my lonesome.

I am determined to be a good student for my teacher (me). Perhaps one day, when I'm a web-designer extraodinaire, I'll start my own web-hosting site.

But with cool templates.

Mission NOT Impossible!

One of the best life experiences homeschoolers can have is to go on a mission trip. What better way to step outside of yourself than to actually leave not only your house but your state to go where help is needed?

My oldest son will be going to New Orleans next month. I'm so proud of him for wanting to go. I'll be a nervous wreck while he's gone, but that's me. I know he's in God's hands. It's been wonderful watching him make that transition from little boy to young man. The hard part is the daily letting go.

His upcoming trip got me thinking. What's my purpose? Not, "What am I here for?" but "What can I do on purpose?" What can I do for others that will enrich the time God has given me in this life? How can I make life better for someone else, for His glory?

Here's a stark contrast: You have one person sitting on her fanny watching Oprah (and who knows what else), and doing nothing with her life but going to the grocery store, the mall, not finding any joy in life, and just trying to get from one day to the next. Another woman who has a definite life purpose: One in which she contributes to charities, helps those who need it, and makes sure her home is ready at a moment's notice to show hospitality to whoever drops by.

I'm not picking on anyone...except myself. The first woman is me, as is the second. Rather, the second is who I'm striving daily to become. I didn't like the first me very much, and I'm already liking the second much better. I'm not completely there yet (still a long way off, really), but I've got my sites set on the goal, blinders on, and I'm taking one step at a time.

That's my mission: To become the best person I can possibly be, that I might be ready at the drop of a hat to help and love others, for God's glory.

Do you have a mission?

Fill My Tub, Lord

We all have days when we feel very low and in desperate need of encouragement. We need someone to fill our joy back up to overflowing, because perhaps all we have left in us is like that last little bit of water swirling away.

I feel a little like that right now. My family just left for church without me. I love being in church -- love the worship time, being "fed" by the message that's given, getting to see friends, having people tell me how cute my toddler is. (Just being honest, here!) But today I won't be there.

Oh, I could get there if I really wanted to. My husband, however, wants to be at the 9:00 a.m. service. (I could easily make it to the 10:30.) But in order to get to the 9:00, I'd have to be up by 6 to get my own shower, get my toddler fed and ready to go, and if I stay up too late on Saturday, it doesn't happen. If it was just me needing to get ready, sure, fine, no problem. But my husband and sons and daughter all grab their showers when they get up, and if I don't get up at the crack of dawn and beat them to it, the get-ready-for-church time is gone, as is the hot water. I haven't made it to church a whole lot since our toddler was born. To be honest, I just haven't wanted to. It's nice having that quiet time with the family out of the house. And we moms need that, right? Of course...but maybe not at the expense of my going to church. Not anymore.

Whatever our preferred source of encouragement or refreshment is, and it may be different for you, we need to make an effort to get it for ourselves. I heard a quote this weekend that I really like. If I remember who said it, I'll post his name later. It went something like this: "If your ship doesn't come in, sometimes you just need to swim out to it."

It's the same way with encouragement, and doing whatever it is we homeschooling moms need to do to find refreshment. We need to go get it. I, personally, could make an effort to go to church with my family. I could take my shower the night before (not really possible last night, as my husband, toddler and I went out for dinner, a walk, and a late visit to Barnes and Noble). I could, and often do, set out my clothes and whatever else I need the night before. I could even tell my kids to get their showers the night before.

On the other hand, perhaps my family could wait for me and we could all just go to church together at 10:30. But I digress....

I've been learning, finally, that we really do need to care for ourselves. Not at the expense of our families (though it may sometimes feel like that's what we're doing), but for our families. I've heard it called "self care." For a lot of women, that really goes against the grain of everything we've been taught since childhood. Especially for those of us who are Christians, it just doesn't sit right. Aren't we supposed to put others ahead of ourselves? We're not supposed to love ourselves, are we? Isn't that sin?

Relax (I'm saying this to myself just as much as to you). Taking care of yourself -- spirit, emotions, mental faculties -- isn't narcissicism. It's not selfishness. It's making sure you are the best you that you can be, and it's something you're doing for your family. Even Jesus woke up while it was still dark to spend time in prayer with His Father. He sought out the encouragement He needed. I believe that's in the Bible to teach us to do the same.

Of course, the best soul refreshment we could possibly get is spending time with Him ourselves. When we put Him first, everything else falls in to place. That's scriptural. It's in there, in several places. If we make Him number one, the blessings fall into place.

Stop sitting on your hands. Shut down the pity party. Go find your encouragement. Do something for yourself today (even if that includes doing something fun with your family). Think for a moment about what it is that would be good for your soul -- what would refresh you today, make you happy today? What pops into your mind?

For me, I keep thinking I would love to go get a manicure. Combined with that wonderful walk with my husband and toddler last night (by a beautiful lake on a beautiful evening), I think a manicure might just fill my tub to overflowing!